New Year, same you, new approach
I don’t think I’ve kept a single New Year’s resolution, even the one where I resolve not to make New Year’s resolutions. In an effort to make ones I may stick to, here are six approaches to making (or perhaps consciously choosing not to make) New Year’s resolutions to create the change you want.
Create clear resolutions that really matter to you
Ask yourself…
Where would you like to be in December 2023? What would you like your life to look like?
What is different between that vision for December 2023 and now?
From what is different, what is the one thing that would be the most impactful change for you?
What can you do to get you there?
When we have something we really want plus a clear idea of what it will look like and what we need to do to get there it is easier to work towards, and feel motivated by, that goal.
New Year’s resolutions are a chance to set a goal we want to work towards so it is crucial that if we set one, it is working towards something we really want and are willing to take action to work towards.
2. Find the path that’s proportionate and right for you
Small, regular steps can be just as good as fewer giant leaps.
What can you do that you’ll be able to commit to when it’s three weeks’ after New Year’s, it’s cold, it’s dark, and the novelty and enthusiasm of these new initiatives have worn off?
As I’ve explored before, while change can require big actions, we can also make incremental progress through tweaks or creating smaller regular practices that are easier to adopt. For example, rather than trying to find a whole hour a week for a personal project, what about 10 minutes a day (this will even add up to more than 1 hour a week, but may feel more manageable)?
3. Plan for the obstacles before they arise
Back to the cold, dark morning deep into the New Year when things aren’t quite going to plan and motivation is lacking, what will you do?
Research has shown that creating ‘if…then…’ plans when setting goals can increase our likelihood of achieving those goals.
When looking ahead to December 2023 also ask ‘what will get in the way, and, if so what will I do then’?
4. Who can help you with your resolutions?
Sharing our resolutions with others can bring both accountability and support when we have our own moments of doubt or are faced with another cold, dark, late January morning.
So often we feel we have to ‘go it’ alone when there are always people rooting for us without even knowing, or who may even be able to help. We’ll only know when we share our aspirations with others.
5. What approach do you want to take?
How do you want to go about creating change? What will make it a process that is as good as the outcome you're working towards?
Our approach can be the difference between continuing and giving up or between enjoying fulfilling our goal and just being relieved and fed up by the finish line. If our plan isn’t working or if we miss a commitment we’ve made, how do we respond?
How are you living what you want in the pursuit of it? How can your approach to achieving your resolutions mirror the life you want to live? Just because someone else did it a certain way it doesn’t mean it will work for us nor fit with how we want to approach things.
Setting our approach to New Year’s resolutions takes away the pressure on a binary outcome of keeping or failing to fulfil our resolution. It allows us to explore, to experiment, to learn and to adapt what we’re doing so that we can continue to work towards what we really want.
6. The New Year is an opportunity not the be all and end all
Finally, it can be easy to get caught up in New Year’s trends or the changes others are making. A New Year’s resolution is for you, an opportunity to make a change if you want to make a change. Sometimes the only change we need to make is to let change happen rather than trying to force change we cannot control. For some, that may even mean resolving not to make a resolution.
Happy New Year!
